We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize