she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
