I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
from now on my penis is your penis
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
