He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
