Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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