Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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