You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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