This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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