So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the raccoons are back...
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