imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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