Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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