life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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