walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
