i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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