I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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