my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so let's talk penis.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know her cup size but not her name....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
