Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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