She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
