Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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