At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pooping to opera.
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