I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
