It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
