Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
