did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
