Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Randomize
