That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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