Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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