I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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