My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize