i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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