I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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