ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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