i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
