I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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