i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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