69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
