just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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