yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
