last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
