I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
