we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
