I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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