What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
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I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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