there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
