your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
