I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
