i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
