I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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