Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
