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Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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