Christians are straight up FREAKS
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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