My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
