i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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