Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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