that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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