A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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