I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
