THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
