I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
