My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
