Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
