I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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